Walls We Build To Feel Safe Also Keep Out Joy
Introduction
In our relentless pursuit of safety and security, we often find ourselves constructing walls, both literal and metaphorical, to shield us from the potential harms of the world. These walls, while intended to protect us, also have a profound impact on our ability to experience joy.
Pros:
1. Protection: Building emotional walls can provide a temporary shield from experiencing emotional pain. It helps create a sense of safety and security by keeping negative emotions at bay.
2. Stability: Emotional walls can create a stable and predictable environment, as they prevent unexpected or overwhelming emotions from entering our lives. This stability can offer a level of comfort and control over our emotional state.
3. Avoidance: Walling off certain emotions allows us to avoid potential triggers that may intensify our emotional pain. By keeping out sadness, disappointment, and shame, we may feel more in control of our emotions and less vulnerable to their effects.
4. Focus: Emotional walls can help us focus on other aspects of our lives. By blocking out challenging emotions, we can direct our energy towards productivity, career growth, and personal achievements.
5. Self-preservation: Sometimes, emotional walls are necessary for self-preservation during highly stressful periods in our lives. They provide us with a much-needed break and allow us to recharge and regain emotional strength.
Unintended Consequences
When we build walls, we not only shut out potential harm but also inadvertently block out the potential for joy and growth. These barriers act as obstacles, making it increasingly difficult for meaningful connections, experiences, and emotions to reach us.
Cons:
1. Loss of Connection: By building walls to keep out negative emotions, we may inadvertently block out the positive emotions as well, including joy, happiness, and love. This can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnect from others.
2. Emotional Numbness: Walls can hinder our ability to fully experience and process emotions. If we continuously suppress or ignore our feelings, it may eventually result in emotional numbness or detachment, robbing us of the richness of emotional experiences.
3. Delayed Healing: Rather than addressing and working through the root causes of our emotional pain, building walls only provides temporary relief. It prevents us from fully healing and growing emotionally, potentially prolonging our pain in the long run.
4. Limited Growth: Emotional walls can hinder personal growth and self-awareness. They prevent us from exploring and understanding the depths of our emotions, thereby limiting our capacity to learn, adapt, and evolve.
5. Barrier to Intimacy: When we keep our emotions hidden behind walls, it becomes challenging to form deep and meaningful connections with others. Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability, and walls can serve as a barrier to forming intimate relationships.
It is important to recognize that while emotional walls may provide short-term benefits, they can also have long-term consequences on our overall well-being and fulfillment in life. Striking a balance between self-protection and emotional openness is crucial for our emotional health and the ability to experience true joy.
If you are feeling isolated, stagnant, and unfulfilled, or trapped in a cycle of numbness and disconnection counseling can help you strike a balance between self-protection and emotional openness that is crucial for emotional health and the ability to experience true joy.
Live in Washington State and are curious if counseling can help you, schedule a free consultation.
Let's bring back the joy you deserve!
